Where It Started · Part Two • 3

The Role You Were Given

In most families, people fall into roles — not because anyone assigns them formally, but because the system needs them. The responsible one. The peacemaker. The quiet one. The problem child. The one who kept everyone laughing. The one who held everyone's feelings. The one who disappeared. What role did you play in your family? It may have been assigned by birth order, temperament, or the specific needs of the people around you. You may have played it so well that it became invisible — just who you were, as far as everyone was concerned. Think about that role. What did it give you? Belonging? Safety? A sense of being needed? And what did it cost? What parts of yourself didn't get to develop because the role didn't have room for them? Do you still play this role — in your family, or in relationships that have nothing to do with family?